I've had some fucked up things happen to me in the past... I've been through heartbreak before, you know... I got through it... I cried it out, talked it out and even got a tattoo to help me realize I was "still standing" despite what had occurred.... despite the fact that I was dying inside. I had felt soooooo betrayed and it happened again.... the vato that I was with for 5 fucken years just bitched out on me... just like that. Couldn't face me... won't tell me that he cheated on me.... that jerk... haha. I'm a big girl and like my lil sobrina reminds me "Big girls, don't cry" :) (unless they are pedas as fuck and she is bumping some Vicente Fernandez :))
dedication: "Aca Entre Nos"
Me and my sisters call it the "cholo syndrome"... a vato goes up to an unsuspecting mujer and he pimps himself out to her. If she has an income, he will live off of her. I dunno if this is true everywhere, but it seems like it's strong here in the 509. Unfortunately, our society has taught young brown men, that their place is in the pinta or as a full time cholo... I dont know too many vato locos that work a fulltime job, go to school and provide for their familias....
The cholo syndrome prevents that....
It causes them to believe that they are alone- may be cold to a sincere mujer and loyal only to the tecatos/pandilleros that line the streets (seeking love in empty relationships with like-minded lost boys)... and when they get caught up, it's la mujer or their mothers to the rescue... la mujer is expected to "hold it down" while her "street soldier" does his time... she takes on his name... he needs her for fuckin and a warm bed.... she needs him because she is either insecure/broken, is still a lil ass girl (under 18) or hasn't learned her lessons from the last idiots that took advantage of her...
Was I a victim? Shit, if I was, it was my own fault... with this vato... I thought I had it all... He was nurturing, intelligent and mine (I told myself)... in reality- I dodged a bullet... He was actually selfish, a manipulator and a cheater... Neta, it prolly wouldnt have been a strong union and I realized its because I still havent unlearned the junk from the last relationship. I carry bullshit from vato to vato... chale... like I told him... I do better by myself... and I do... Fuck yeah I do....
I've been warned about posting personal shit from my life on the net... these crazy psycho bitches learn everything I post and blast me on the net... I use to have a blog I kept private, pero... I love to document and share barrio culture and I think it was about time I created this blog... I figure-- Barrio Culture that affect my life...
Talking to my girls over the years, the interest in cholos has steadily declined. Little by little my girls see that there is nothing to profit from a relationship like this... que tristeza... because these guys are fine as hell... I love the way a cholo dresses, BUT
...for the first time in my life, I am actually telling friends to hook me up with "squares"... I'll take an L7 any day :) Before a bald head and dickies was a requirement.... now, avato has to have a job to get my number....
well... blah-blah.... It's getting late... and I gotta be up in a few hours... gotta pay some bills, drive noah to school... head out to get tatted up and then maybe to a movie with a homeboy :)
Stay up everyone! Aqui los dejo con unas firme flickas (all done by me-hehehe):
(above is the homie Serio, the one whose gonna tat me up today... check out his shop in Tappas-STREET INK)
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